


Momentum

by jseca



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jseca/pseuds/jseca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Really, he should never have been allowed to find out he was the supposed ‘Chosen One’.  The things it had done to the boy’s head, Obi-Wan was surprised that he’d never found him floating in amongst Coruscant’s packed air traffic lanes, buoyed by his own tremendous ego."</p><p>Obi-Wan lies to himself, sometimes a little more than others.  It's that damned Skywalker - he has an orbit that just can't be evaded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Momentum

i.

From the start, Obi-Wan knew he was going to get in over his head with Anakin Skywalker as his Padawan.  Too old to allow the Jedi code to permeate his very way of life as a youngling would, he had a lot of his own ideas borne from his cocky, headstrong personality that even a competent Jedi Knight such as Obi-Wan had found difficult, nay impossible, to work around.

In common vernacular, Anakin was a little shit.

Really, he should never have been allowed to find out he was the supposed ‘Chosen One’.  The things it had done to the boy’s head, Obi-Wan was surprised that he’d never found him floating in amongst Coruscant’s packed air traffic lanes, buoyed by his own tremendous ego.  Oh, of course, put him on the battlefield and he performed admirably enough to make one believe he _deserved_ the moniker; if becoming an established member of the Jedi council was determined through one’s lightsaber handling skills, no doubt Anakin would have been accepted years before.  But it wasn’t, and _he_ wasn’t. 

“I don’t know what they’re talking about.  I’m not afraid of _anything,”_ Anakin proclaims for the hundredth time, the put-out expression on his face a complete juxtaposition to the _swish_ and _crackle_ of his and Obi-Wan’s lightsabers as they spar.  He somersaults over his Master to avoid the arc of his lightsaber, swinging back round to catch it together with his own in an X as he lands.  Despite the theatrics, he’s still pouting, his thoughts elsewhere.

“Stay in the moment, Anakin,” Obi-Wan chides, raising an eyebrow.  “Don’t let your feelings take over.”

It’s basic code talk; phrases he had repeated over and over and over to his Padawan, trying to get them to sink in and _stay_ , to become second nature as they already should be.  He knows that the Jedi Council is a sticking point for Anakin, so much so that he’s nearly given up trying to distract him from his distaste at their decisions.  But as his Master, he has _responsibilities._

“What?  Oh.  Right.”  Anakin flings himself back into their fight, fluidly arcing his lightsaber over and over.  He had requested the sparring session himself, and though Obi-Wan was well aware that he asked as a means to blow off some steam, he had also obliged for that very reason.  A grumpy Anakin was not any fun to be around.

Still.

“Even if I’m begrudgingly allowing you to use this as an excuse to vent your anger, you cannot let it cloud your mind so much that you see nothing else,” Obi-Wan continues casually, as if he were anywhere but in a heated match with his Padawan.  He would never admit it, but he really did enjoy their spars; there weren’t many other Jedi who could keep up with him.

“That so?  How nice of you,” Anakin grins, spinning his ‘saber around a few times.  _Show off,_ Obi-Wan thinks to himself, floridly spinning _his_ round to swing directly into Anakin’s, who only laughs lightly. “You don’t have to feel threatened by me, Master,” he chides smugly.

“Why on earth would you think I am?”

After that they quieten, focusing completely on their fighting, matching each other blow for blow and jump for jump.  It’s an impressive sight by any standards, but Obi-Wan knows that they're both holding back.  There’s a time and place for _real_ fighting, and this isn’t it; the Clone Wars are just around the corner, after all.

“Besides,” Anakin says out of nowhere, picking up the thread of their previous conversation.  He sounds… strangely calculating.  “There are other ways to let off steam.” 

“Oh?” Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow as he raises his lightsaber into a defensive position, only to have Anakin knock it aside and move so quickly into his personal space he doesn’t have any time to react.  It isn’t often that Obi-Wan can’t at least try to predict what Anakin’s going to do next, but this is so left-field that he only manages to fling his hand up at the last second once his senses catch up far later than they should.  His Padawan’s face squishes inelegantly into his palm, effectively halting his advances.

“That’s not funny, Anakin,” he says, looked utterly unimpressed.  Anakin only grins against Obi-Wan’s palm like he’s 5 years old again, his eyes shining playfully through the gaps in his fingers.  Sensing the end of their session has arrived with that little mishap, Obi-Wan deactivates his lightsaber and pockets it with his free hand, pushing Anaking lightly off of the other as he did so.

“You don’t agree it’s a viable method?” Anakin asks, raising a cocky eyebrow as he stores away his own lightsaber.

“I – well.  Maybe, but _I’ll_ be having nothing to do with it _,_ ” Obi-Wan says with what he hopes is an air of finality.

Of course, Anakin being Anakin, it isn’t.

Annoyingly, even though Obi-Wan swears by the Jedi code, it isn’t like he doesn’t have _eyes._   Anakin has grown up to become a handsome man indeed, and a skilled warrior to boot.  Were he not in possession of his senses he might have been inclined to feel attraction towards him, even.  Of course, those have only ever been fleeting thoughts, hardly worth mentioning at all; he never thought he would have to face them head on.

But Anakin had been leaning in to kiss him, after all.

Or had he?  Would he have stopped at the last moment, a hairs breadth away?  Was it just his method of throwing Obi-Wan off to allow Anakin victory in a match that could hardly have been said to _award_ it?  He had never been that petulant befor –

… Well.  Actually.

Damn and blast, this isn’t what he had wanted to use his meditation session for.

As much as Obi-Wan tried to convince himself that it had been Anakin’s idea of a joke, he couldn’t help but wonder.  The Master and Padawan relationship was one that garnered a lot of attention from outsiders who couldn’t help but comment on the bond they shared, so unlike any other as it was.  It was true – being Force bonded to Anakin gave him insight into the boy that nobody else could have, just as Qui-Gon had had with _him_ as a Padawan.  He could see, rationally, how others could misconstrue the closeness of that relationship, but in reality, it was supposed to be a pure bond, free of distracting, cloying affection.

The fact that Obi-Wan considered Anakin to be his closest friend came just close enough to breaching that line that it should have been cause for worry.  Obi-Wan had conveniently disregarded it for a while now, despite both Mace Windu and Yoda bringing it up with him on a few occasions, in the ‘remember he is your Padawan, Obi-Wan, not your friend’ vein.  But why not both? 

Ruminating on this will help nothing without knowing Anakin’s true intentions, Obi-Wan thinks with a decisive sigh.

 

ii.

“You wanted to see me, Master?” Anakin asks inquisitively as he draws up to their pre-arranged meeting spot within the Jedi Temple.

“Ah, Anakin.  Yes, that I did.  Please, take a seat.”

“Is something the matter?” Damn it, but there’s actually _worry_ in the boy’s eyes.  Actually facing his Padawan is far different than thinking about this exchange in his head, Obi-Wan thinks with annoyance.  For a split second he almost considers giving up and pretending nothing had ever happened, but he’s a bigger man than that.

“I wanted to discuss your actions the other day,” he starts lightly, trying his hardest not to sound like he’s about to start giving Anakin a lecture.

“Well, that could mean anything,” Anakin grins, seemingly _proud_ of knowing he’s prone to misdemeanours.  “How about we just go with ‘whatever it was, I didn’t do it?’” he tries innocently.  Obi-Wan produces an expression that’s somewhere between a smile and a grimace.

“Unfortunately, that’s not possible, in this case.  And come on, Anakin, you _know_ I’ve let you get away with far too much on that reasoning,” he adds.

“Yeah, well, I know you love me too much to let me get caught all the time,” Anakin quips, leaning casually back against his chair with far too flirtatious an air, especially combined with his turn of phrase.  Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow with the practiced precision of one who has had far too many reasons to raise it over the years.

“That’s an interesting choice of words,” he comments.  It’s the perfect opportunity to segue into his intended topic though, so much so that he ends up speaking before thinking.  “Anakin, have you made some sort of bet with the other Padawan?” he asks.

“Uh, not that I can think of, Master.  … Why?”

“Well,” Obi-Wan starts, only to pause.  “Your actions at our sparring match and – ‘love’?  Really?”

“Oh, you think-,” Anakin says, only to grin when he realises exactly what Obi-Wan is asking.  “Master, I thought you were bound to the code!” He makes sure to sound as scandalised as possible.

“This isn’t _about_ me,” Obi-Wan frowns, only to realise a second too late that Anakin’s just toying with him.  “Oh, I see.  Very funny.”  He huffs, leaning forward in his chair to indicate he means business.  “If not a bet, then what?”

“I didn’t mean it to be serious, Master!  I wasn’t _actually_ going to kiss you, you know.  … Not that I would say no,” he adds casually, smirking.  “I just get bored sometimes, waiting for the _real_ battles to begin.”

“Oh, and so you take it out on me?”

“Who better?”

 “Force knows we should have left you on Tatooine,” Obi-Wan mutters, just loud enough to be audible.  Anakin scoffs in response.  “Well, we’ll be having no more of that, my young Padawan,” he says, deciding he’s had enough of this conversation for the time being.  “There are far more important things to be focusing on.”

“Yes, Master.”

 

iii.

From the day Anakin is knighted and given the privilege of ridding himself of his Padawan braid, Obi-Wan pointedly tells him that he can stop calling him ‘Master’,  if he so wishes.  For Obi-Wan, it seems a matter of no concern – to him, he and Anakin are far more equals than Master and student, after all.  Anakin’s skills have flourished tremendously, and in some cases, though Obi-Wan would not be quick to concede it, were better than his own.  Truly, he deserves the right.  And yet, as he says it there’s a strange look on Anakin’s face, barely perceptible it passes so quickly.

“Yes, Master,” he replies with a grin, defiant to the last.  Then, as if unable to hold his emotions back, he leans forward to wrap his arms around Obi-Wan’s shoulders and draw him into a hug.  It’s not something they’ve ever done before, but when Obi-Wan hears Anakin murmur a soft ‘thank you’ into his ear, he can’t help but return the embrace warmly, letting Anakin bask in the moment for as long as he needs.

 

iv.

On the battlefield they’re a formidable pair, quickly becoming known galaxy-wide for being the most efficient and successful Jedi team in the Clone Wars for their perfect precision, synchronicity and deadliness.  They are brothers-in-arms, their years of training together having created an unbreakable bond that even the war can’t sever.  If anything, it makes them _stronger,_ more formidable.  They’ve even started a tally for who’s saved the other more times, making a game of it rather than getting clouded by their feelings to assure a more efficient rescue.  So far, Anakin is just ahead, but Obi-Wan has a feeling that given Anakin’s recklessness, it won’t take long for the tally to equalise.

Not that he _wants_ Anakin to need saving, of course – it’s just an inevitability that comes with the territory.

It also comes with its dangers, of course.  There have been times that were painful to recollect, where neither were sure they would be able to make it through the night.  Obi-Wan has spent more than a few collective hours tending to a half-delirious Anakin’s battle wounds to make sure he would see it through.

“You’re far too reckless, you know,” Obi-Wan comments absently, as he had done a thousand times before.  Anakin scoffs lightly.  “Well it’s true.  If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be having to use mine or your robes as emergency tourniquets all the time.”

“I know you enjoy it really,” Anakin replies weakly, mustering a smile from his position on the floor.  “It’s not like you don’t lose your robe once every few months anyway.”

“One of the turmoils of war,” Obi-Wan says amicably.  “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been stomped on by a Bantha,” Anakin says.  “But it’ll pass.”  He pauses.  “What are we now?  Five to four on the rescue tally?”

“Mm.  Something like that,” Obi-Wan replies, suddenly distant; he’s not really feeling up to pretending that getting hurt is a game, not when Anakin is lying bruised and bloodied in front of him.  Almost without thinking, he moves to check the wound on Anakin’s arm again.

“Master -,” Anakin starts, and suddenly Obi-Wan feels Anakin’s hand catch in his own, halting it from reaching him.  “I’m fine, really.”  He pauses, eyes slanting over to their hands as if his mind’s only just caught up to his actions.  “You’re really warm,” he comments dumbly.

Against his better judgement, Obi-Wan clasps his hand round Anakin’s, moving them down to the floor.  His friend is alive.  He can allow this, for now.  If he rubs his thumb carefully against Anakin’s hand, well, he’ll blame it on his relief. 

That’s all it is.

 

v.

_Qui-Gon, if you could see the boy now._

Obi-Wan sits quietly in his quarters, using one of his daily meditation sessions to convey his thoughts to Qui-Gon’s spirit presence in the Force.  He finds himself doing it often – that it helps him to clear his head, even if his conversational partner was unable to reply.

_He has become a magnificent Jedi.  His lightsaber skills are practically unmatched by this point.. although his demeanour is still lacking on occasion.  His fear and anger flare up far too often for his own good.  I fear my teachings have not been enough to keep him entirely in check.  I only hope so, for his sake.  He is an incredibly valuable asset in the Clone Wars.  And.._

Obi-Wan hesitates, even within the confines of his own thoughts.

_And to me._

He feels as if he’s dropped a weight from his shoulders, thinking it out loud.  These burgeoning feelings have been burdening him for weeks now, stubborn enough as he was to pretend they were not there at all.

_Master, I fear that I am in danger of breaching a Jedi code.  And for… for Anakin, no less.  My former Padawan!  What has become of me, that I could feel like that?  I’m not proud of it, not for a moment.  And yet the bond we share seems stronger day by day, and is impossible to ignore.  Does it make me weak?  Lesser?  Mace Windu would likely say as much._

_.. I wish you were here to tell me what to do._

 

vi.

Against his better judgement, Obi-Wan lets Anakin kiss him in their tent after a particularly celebratory-worthy victory against the droid army.  It’s spur of the moment, good moods and weeks of tension turned into action.  Obi-Wan almost pulls away, almost wants to stop and lecture Anakin on the importance of the Jedi code; how giving yourself over to affection is completely prohibited.  How they could both be cast out for this act alone.

But instead, he launches himself into the kiss, opening his mouth to Anakin and moving with him, against him, their Force bond almost allowing him to predict Anakin’s movements before he makes them.  Their arms are tightly wrapped around one another, and suddenly Obi-Wan realises that he had not been alone with his feelings at all.

 _What’s so bad about affection, anyway?_  he muses.

They part mutually, only to gently knock their foreheads together.

“Master -,” Anakin starts softly, bringing his hand up to twine with Obi-Wan’s.

“Is that really what you should be calling me?” Obi-Wan questions humorously, squeezing their hands together briefly.

“I don’t know, maybe you like it more than you let on,” Anakin grins, a mischievous glint in his eye.  Obi-Wan only rolls his in return.  “I never thought you would let me do that,” Anakin confesses.

“It’s a bit of a shock for me as well,” Obi-Wan jokes, and then moves his head back to get a good look at Anakin.  “Although I feel like it shouldn’t be.  You’ve never been one for following the rules.”

“And here I thought you were such a stickler for them!”

“Yes, well,” Obi-Wan starts, but doesn’t finish, leaving it hanging in the air.  “I hope this isn’t simply boredom striking again.  I know this war is dragging on a little, but-,”

He’s stopped by Anakin’s mouth on his again, and he supposes he should take that as his answer.  Even mid-kiss he can’t help but roll his eyes again, but it’s with affection that he does so. 

“Obi-Wan, I promise you, this is more than boredom,” Anakin says once they part.  “.. Although could you blame me if I said it had a small part in it?” He grins, and Obi-Wan sighs. 

“You know, I don’t think I could.”

He is definitely, _absolutely,_ way in over his head with this one.  And he doesn’t think he would have it any other way.


End file.
